you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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