i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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