So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
