White coat. Heels.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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