I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
