I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
