Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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