Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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