based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
3 2 1 whiskey
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize