i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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