oh god the rape fog is back!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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