there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
