real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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