Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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