Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
