I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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