Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
