That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
