Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
