I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
