i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
