no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
we should paint friendship bongs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
