Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
