ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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