OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize