i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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