I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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