He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
