check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
