Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
