Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
