So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
