lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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