i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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