Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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