i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
