Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
