Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize