His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize