I puked a lego.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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