i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
