She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
