Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
