Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
