I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
