5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
