I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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