I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
please come you make the beer taste better
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
