Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
