Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you win again, gameday.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
