doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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