Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize