Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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