I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
