So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
