I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
