she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
