My nipple is on Facebook.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
