I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
