You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
