I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize