They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize