just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize