I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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