Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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