I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
